Let’s stop talking about willpower

I don’t have any willpower.

Or so someone said to me recently.

Like it’s a thing that you are lucky enough to be born with. Something that can be big or small, present or not.  In your DNA.

Newsflash. It’s not your willpower. It’s you.

When we think that is it our willpower that is driving us, we surrender control. We other it.

It’s not me don’t you know. It’s my willpower.  It is a cognitive convenience.

Instead of willpower, think instead about choice.

If you eat the chocolate, it isn’t because you have no willpower, some malign force conspiring against you.

It is because you choose to eat it.

Only by owning our choices and recognising that they are ours and that we do have control over them, can we truly take responsibility.

It starts with you.

What’s your practice?

What are your daily wellbeing practices?

This question appeared in my twitter timeline this morning. The tweet has long gone….. the thought remains.

I aim to do something that contributes to my wellbeing every day. It’s a deliberate thing for me; it helps me focus, keep it top of mind.

Wherever possible, that daily practice is about exercise, because this is the thing that for me, more than everything else, makes me feel awesome. Exercise contributes not only to my physical health but my mental health too.

This might be a class, some weights, a run or a bike ride. It’s the movement that matters.  When work or life stuff gets in the way, I will replace exercise with something else.  Get my steps in, walk rather than getting the bus, make some healthy eating choices, have a long hot soak in the bath (posh bath oils, of course).

bells

Self-care isn’t selfish. I am responsible for my wellbeing. Me. No-one else.  It shouldn’t be something that I do when I think about it or when I can find the time. Wellbeing needs to be deliberate.  It needs to be a practice and a priority.

What are your daily practices?

And if you don’t have any….. maybe it’s time to begin.